From an Obsessive Optimist in the Eye of A Hurricane.

life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; It's about learning to dance in the rain.

In Search Of Symmetry – Day 20 Breast Reconstruction

on April 18, 2011

My daughter said tonight that she would be so glad when I was back.  I did not know I went anywhere.  I was sitting in front of her, at the bar in the kitchen.  She said, “You know what I mean, back doing things.” 

Last Friday my daughter and Haruka went to the Big Band Dance at school.  The girls had been invited by two friends of theirs, boys.  It was the first time my daughter had gone to a dance as a couple.  A friend from church took them shopping on Thursday afternoon.  Friday, when my daughter was coming home from school, she burst into tears.  She berated my husband for not “caring”.  I know that she was missing her mommy.  If I had been up to it, I would have taken her to have her nails done on Thursday.  We would have gone  shopping on Tuesday and I would have taken her to have her hair done on Friday.  As it was, she did not get her hair or nails done. She did go shopping. 

It is hard to watch my family function without me.  My husband worked from 9:00 p. m. last night until 11:00 a. m. this morning.  He came home, ate and went to bed by 11:45 a. m.   Fortunately, someone from church picked up the girls at 2:45 p. m. so he was able to sleep until 5:30 p.m.  He got up and took our daughter to swim practice, shopped for groceries while she was swimming, picked her up from swim practice and came home and fixed supper.  This was his second night shift and he just left for work, another 12 to 14 hour shift tonight.  I sit here in my yoga pants and t-shirt and watch all this happen around me.  That is very hard.  I have at least two more weeks.

More than the soreness, the stiffness and the itchiness, is the fact that I am here, but I am not available. 

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry, our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

 We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.                                                                                                                                                            1 John 4 18-19   The Message

Practicing perfect love, without fear.  I am praying for that.  The next two weeks, I am going to practice everyday – love, without fear.  Love for the insurance company, medical and homeowners.  Love for my family.  Love for myself and love for every person who put themselves in my path.  I will not be afraid about our financial situation, our flood, my family and myself. 

Dear reader, I pray for perfect love for you.  I pray that you will join me in putting  away fear.  What do you fear.  I cherish comments.

I believe every problem, obstacle,dilemma, predicament, quandary, or trouble that comes our way contains the seed of our future success!!  Together, you and I will be able to find that seed of success, water and grow it.  Join me for free and let us see what will happen.  I covet your comments and would love for you to subscribe today.

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